the neverending checklist

a reflection on art

I'm in a more reflective state regarding my feelings on art (as a hobby, as a passion, as my main method of creative output) and narrowing down what does it all mean to me and what do I hope to achieve with my art. Some people have mission statements, or visions, or simply a nice summary on why they create art. I've always said art is my hobby and end it there, but it's really over-simplifying it. Hobby makes it sound very casual and vague - perhaps I doodle, perhaps I paint, or whatever - and while it's true I hadn't drawn very often post-college, art was my childhood passion. It was and is a driving force in my life, even while I pursued a major that was not related to it at all. Art has stuck with me for many, many years, and it deserves a spot to be recognized.

Naturally, some background story would be helpful. Funnily enough, I had to stop and think how to describe my knowledge and education. I've seen the words "self-taught", often used for people who did not take college-level art courses or go to art school. Technically, I would fit this description, but I would argue that my art teachers in middle and high school were essential for my foundational skills, and certainly not to be swept under an impression that I acquired this knowledge on my own, without guidance from real people I knew. I still keep in touch with my high school art teacher, whom I've had from 10-12th grade (I simply had a different art teacher in 9th grade, who was just as important, though I am not in touch with her.)

Fairly recently, as some of you are aware, I've taken steps to open up a shop and begin selling my art. For the longest time, my biggest dream is to sell my art at an anime convention. (Don't get me wrong, it's still a big dream.) I loved the idea of making it into artist's alley and meeting people who would be excited to see me and buy my art. I did a lot of research online to figure out where to begin, and while I pieced together some things, I was too nervous to take the first step which was essentially crossing into the "adult" part of making art: treating it like a business and the steps to make it as such. It was kind of daunting, it literally took me years of saying "I want to sell my art!" before I actually did anything about it. I made prints of my art, but never tried to post them online or advertise it. I knew pretty much everything that was required to be done after browsing dozens of Reddit threads, but didn't act on any of it.

This year though I did want to commit to the bit. I actually love the meme of Shia LaBeouf shouting "JUST DO IT!!" that I would think it at times to keep going. I finally decided to look up SBA resources and got connected to a SCORE mentor. It's funny how it could take just one person to say "hey do xyz" and realize 'wow, it wasn't really that big of a hurdle after all.' My mentor did ask me though, "So why do you want to sell your art?" It kind of made me pause. I felt like there were a lot of reasons, but to summarize it as 'I want to share my art with people' somehow felt weak. I guess it didn't feel very "business-y", but that's okay. I still want to see where this takes me, even if it takes a while to actually sell art, even if it doesn't make a lot of money. I want to try. I spent a lot of time working hard for my current career, so it only makes sense that I need to put the same effort into my art.

Anyway, for those of you who are interested in "the reasons why I like to draw", I tried to list them here:

Topics that mean something to me, in no particular order:

Reasons why I like to draw, also in no particular order:

I sat on this post for several months actually, kind of building on it a little bit at a time. But then I didn't really know how to close the post, so I never got around to hitting "publish". I guess it feels like "well now what?" after I said everything. To be honest, my art business journey started off great with a lot of motivation, then came to a halt when I had to prioritize my day job. It's a little sad because I usually feel obligated to put my art to the side when things get busy, which seems to be a repeating pattern in my life. It's a hobby, so don't focus on it too much. It's just for fun, you need to work on your actual job. I understand that doing art full-time also has its challenges and stressors as well, so I'm not sure if I would necessarily be happier pursuing my dreams. It's tough, not knowing "well when can I actually get to focus on my art?" It's possible also though that I need to be kind to myself and let things take time. I did start a new job this year - as well as start taking a second language class, and start my art business, and socialize more with friends, and traveled.

Perhaps I just need to tell myself that whatever I'm going through, art will always be there for me. It will wait, and when I'm ready, I can always pick up the pencil again.

#art